Dear Mom,

"Just you wait..." you used to say, as a disclaimer to the worry, the concern, the unconditional, the pride in the littlest accomplishments, the abundant emotion, the affection you poured upon me.  You were right.  And more. 

As a child there was never a question whether you loved me.  You told me multiple times a day.  You hugged, kissed, affirmed, celebrated.  I do not remember your love expressed through gifts, although memories of birthdays and christmas mornings stand clear.  I do not remember your love through expectations, although it was fun watching your pride and reaction at our accomplishments.  I always knew your love to be unconditional, although not breaking your trust or respect was very important to me.

I'm proud to say I appreciated you long before I became a mother.  You were my absolute best friend in a time when I had a lot of friends but the friendships didn't go very deep... and I needed the depth.  I recognized early on that you KNEW me in ways that I barely knew myself.  You have celebrated EVERYTHING, both noteworthy and only mostly mom-worthy.  Although sometimes I rolled my eyes at your enthusiasm, it soaked in, re-enforcing a sense of self.  Somehow you loved me in a way I didn't need to rebel... I just need you to trust.  And when your love made me feel confident to go boldly into the world we hit some of our only conflicts...  As a mother now, I recognize where this comes from now... fear... launching from the nest.  Yet how far we fly is a direct reflection of how we were loved, how we were trusted, how we were challenged and raised without fear.  You also instilled a concern for the human condition and a responsibility in this life to leave our pocket of the world a better place.  You loved me unconditionally but demanded responsibility.  Thank you.  Now more than ever I thank you for that first 18 years under your roof... the things you exposed me to, the philosophies gently introduced, the truths of life taught, the expectations and mostly the love (and fun and curiosity).  Because I have had and currently have a great life.  And there is no doubt that is directly related to all you taught, the way you loved, your firm devotion and gentle guidance.

I'm convinced that the meaning of being human, the source of being human, the evolution of humanity and our only purpose in this life all boils down to relationships.  Who we become, who we are is defined through relationships; we develop our sense of self through the love and guidance of others, we refine who we are under the influence of the people around us.  We are able to give in whatever capacity based on our stockpile of love that is ever-reinforced by our active relationships defining, redefining, reinventing who we are and what we have to offer.

You gave me life. You made me human.  Through your love, your influence, you planted passion, curiosity, laughter and fearlessness with a foundation of good common sense.  You instilled values of hard work, respect, and a global mindfulness.  You introduced a foundation of spiritual awareness that has allowed me to live comfortably and amiably in this world, easy inspired by all views of creation and the divine.  During times when people naturally question, I only was re-inspired thanks to your framework of this life.  

As a mother, my respect, my love for your goes beyond description.  And I know you understand the depth of this because you, too, had a REMARKABLE mother.  You, too, became a mother under her guidance.  And the generations of INCREDIBLE mothers in our history reinforces all I believe in the power of relationships and our ability to affect future generations.

Thank you for exuding complete happiness and excitement EVERY. TIME. we see you after a time apart (even if it was only a good night's sleep).  Thank you for celebrating everything.  Thank you for being the first person I want to vent to as well as share accomplishments with. Thank you for being a source of endless joy to my children who have become my new reason for living and refining myself.  Thank you for continuing to "mother" long after I have flown from the next.  Thank you for taking me on my worst and best days with absolute equal enthusiasm.  Thank you for being an inspiration, a role model, a hero in my life... defining how I want to be in the lives of my own, precious, remarkable, funny, challenging, full-of-potential children.

Happy Mother's Day... today and every second to follow.  Because mothering doesn't take a break, take a pause for a holiday... it stays up all night, wakes before dawn, has no holiday or no weekend.  And as much as I pray to my Grandmother, I know it doesn't end after death.  Thank you for being an ever-breathing, ever-inspiring, ever-loving presence in my life.

I strive every moment to be the mother to my children that you are to me.

With endless love and respect,

Kim